There is a time in every relationship when a girl will be asked to give her SO a striptease and some of us rise to the challenge and others fail to meet it.
I failed really hard last night.
I keep trying tell myself that if he ghosts out now because of a bad striptease, then he is an asshole. But really I kind of feel like the asshole for secretly being so bad at such a “natural” thing.
I hate that “detoxing” is making me SO incredibly mentally unstable. Textbook bipolar - my emotions have always been epic highs and agonizing lows but there’s no rhyme or reason anymore.
I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m only a month clean and EVERYBODY I know who’s ever even tried to get clean said this was part of it. I’m lucky I escaped without a lot of the physical pain and dopesickness. But holy shit this sucks.
I’m trying to just ride everything out like I rode everything self-inflicted out for the past two years. Trying to take advantage of the highs and verbalize the lows as best I can.
Holy fuck I don’t understand “adult dating”. I’m so irritated.
How often are you supposed to see each other? After how many “hangouts” are you allowed to say that you might be into some one? How often are you supposed to text? Do you call? How much is too much of anything? Is it okay to even care? How do you lock somebody down? Why can’t we talk about these things?